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32 Funny colder than expressions

Çolder than expressions

Colder than expressions

The cold is something everyone has felt, some of us more than others. Whether you enjoy it or not, it is always a common topic of conversation like most things weather related. Sometimes you need a way to say just how cold it is, these funny colder than sayings are a great way to do this.

The expressions use the comparative of colder in amusing sentences to convey just how cold something is. They are a fun way to express that you think something is very, very cold. Read along and check them out!

1 – Colder than a brass toilet seat in the Yukon

The Yukon is a province in the northwest of Canada that is one of the coldest places on earth. Temperatures here can drop to a staggering minus 60 degrees Fahrenheit or below 50 degrees Celsius. The extreme weather and rugged landscapes have kept people away and it is the least populated part of the country. Throw in the visual of sitting on a freezing brass toilet seat in this climate and it seems like something very cold that nobody would want to endure.

2 – Colder than a day-old dumpling

Dumplings are known to be warm comfort food that can give us sustenance on a cool day. These delicious pieces of cooked dough can be baked, fried, steamed, and boiled. They are best devoured fresh and hot. A dumpling left out in the cold for a day doesn’t seem like a nice thing to eat at all.
Colder than a dead man’s hand

3 – Colder than a Finnish winter

Finland is a country in northern Europe that has long, cold, dark winters. Temperatures average below zero for this season and can drop to below 50 (Celsius). To add to this frostiness the sun barely shines at this time of year and shines from a low position on the horizon. This is due to the country’s close proximity to the north pole. The winters could be unbearable for those who love summer!

4 – Colder than a mother-in-law’s kiss

The stereotypical mother-in-law is not fond of her son or daughter-in-law. They have some disdain for their married-in family member and may treat them with a lot less love than other relatives. We can picture such a person giving a kiss that doesn’t exactly radiate warmth or any joy at all.

colder than a penguins tuxedo

5 – Colder than a penguin’s tuxedo

These flightless birds mostly live in inhospitable cold environments in the Southern Hemisphere. Their feathers have a design that serves as useful camouflage when they are hunting for food. To human observers, this plumage looks somewhat comical, like the animals are wearing tuxedos. Not only do they live in the Antarctic, they also spend a lot of time in its freezing waters. Wearing a dripping-wet tuxedo at The South Pole is not a very exciting prospect at all!

6 – Colder than a polar bear’s toenails

The feet are one of the coolest parts of the body. When the weather is cold we always cover them up with socks and shoes to stay warm. Given that polar bears don’t do footwear, we can imagine they get very cold feet indeed. How would you feel walking around in snow and ice all day with bare feet? Just the thought of this brings shivers.

7 – Colder than a steel plate in Antarctica

Antarctica is the southernmost continent in the world. It is also the coldest and windiest place you can visit. This is a cold land of ice, frozen water covers 98% of it. With freezing winds of up to 200 miles per hour (320km), it is fair to say the chill factor is pretty high. Metal seems colder than the air around it when you touch it due to thermal conductivity. So a metallic plate in such an environment would feel very cold indeed!

8 – Colder than a toilet seat made of brass on the shady part of an iceberg

Another bathroom-themed expression, this crude humor seems to make them even funnier. Icebergs are gigantic chunks of frozen water that come from the coldest parts of oceans. They can float for decades but that doesn’t make them useful to build things on. The silly thought of a brass toilet drifting around on ice is quite amusing. This colder than saying seems to have come from the south of the USA.

colder than a toilet seat made of brass on the shady side of an iceberg

9 – Colder than an Eskimo’s outhouse

Eskimos or Inuits, are indigenous people that live in the far north of our planet. They dwell in the far reaches of countries such as Alaska, Russia, Canada, and Greenland which are typically frozen for most of the year. Inuits are so familiar with the cold that some of them have up to 400 words for snow!

The people are famed for building igloos which are dome houses made from compacted snow. Outhouses are bathrooms detached from houses that nobody wants to run to on a cold winter’s evening. The idea of an igloo itself brings the feeling of being cold to the mind, once you add in an outside toilet it gets even more chilly.

10 – Colder than the hinges of hell

This one seems to have come from the idiom “hotter than the hinges of hell”. Hell is meant to be a smoldering burning eternity so the hotter than expression seems to make a lot more sense. It was probably adopted into a colder than expression just because hell is often used to describe anything extreme. You wouldn’t expect the hinges for the gates to hell to be frozen but it still makes for a good saying to describe something that is cold.

11 – Colder than the shady side of a banker’s heart

When it comes to finance, bankers are not exactly known for their compassion. In the world of trading and making money, empathy, and pity are not highly regarded as useful personality traits. Calculated, cold-hearted decisions are made which is why bankers are thought of this way. The shade is always a cooler place than in the sun and is used to make this colder than expression more potent.

colder than polar bears toenails.

12 – Colder than a grave digger’s shovel

Cemeteries are known as cold places. They bring thoughts of darkness and death which are also things associated with the cold. Grave diggers deal with the cold earth as they scoop it out to create holes for the dead to rest in. The metal shovel that they use for this, paints a chilly picture of the cold in our minds.

13 – Colder than skinny dipping in a snowstorm

Have you ever gone swimming without a bathing suit? It isn’t something most people would normally do in the cold. Imagine going for a dip when it is so bleak outside that snow is falling from the sky. Then throw in a storm with high winds to make it even more stinging. Brrrrrrrrrr!

14 – Colder than a reindeer’s antlers

The reindeer is another animal that thrives in a cold climate. When they aren’t pulling a sleigh for Santa, they live in the tundra in the Arctic and Subarctic regions. Most of their bodies are covered in fur to protect them from frosty temperatures although their antlers are not. This part of the creatures is no doubt one of the coldest.

Other colder than expressions

15  – Colder than a bucket of penguin poo

16 – Colder than a cast iron toilet

17 – Colder than a gold digger’s heart

18 – Colder than a landlord’s heart

19 – Colder than a mixture of acetone and dry ice

20 – Colder than a mortician’s mistress

21 – Colder than a penguin’s ankle socks

22 – Colder than a polar bear’s pajamas

23 – Colder than a room full of ex-wives

24 – Colder than a snowcone on the North Pole

25 – Colder than a tax collector’s heart

26 – Colder than a Tibetan tin toilet top

27 – Colder than a well digger’s butt

28 – Colder than a witch’s belt buckle

29 – Colder than in a freezer in Antarctica

30 – Colder than Jack Frost’s toes after he skates on an icy pond

31 – Colder than moonlight on a tombstone

32 – Colder than penguin snot

colder than a steel plate in Antarctica

Ideas for teaching colder than expressions

It can be a fun activity to make up your own colder than expressions. By thinking of several cold things and adding them together you can easily create a hilarious way to say it is very cold.

For example, let’s think of a cold place, a cold object, and a cold food – the Antarctic, a snowman, and an ice cream. Join these words and we have – Colder than a snowman eating ice cream in the Antarctic.

Start out by asking your group to brainstorm and make a list of things that are cold. Once this has been compiled, it is easy to mix and match the things and places from there to make new funny sayings.

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